(While Ultragrrrl is out conquering the universe, we’ll be having some guest reviews, like the following awesomeness from Andrew Borin)

Has anyone ever been to Trailer Park Lounge on 23rd St? Seriously, a pitcher of margaritas is $42 bones and I nearly let out a gay squeal in shock and awe, that is until the bartender told me the pitcher was for 8 people. So that would explain the rest of the events for the night.

After my margs I headed over to Yelle with my friend Katie. Thank Yahweh I found Glen and his friend Daniel in line because the line for ticket HOLDERS was two blocks long. Besides the drinks being overpriced at Highline, I really do enjoy the actual space. Even with that many people waiting outside, the show never seemed that crowded.

Heartsrevolution opened for Yelle; I had seen them open for Crystal Castles at SXSW and was even more impressed this time around. They have a very electronic DIY feel but their lead singer LO has an aggressive stage presence that really ties the group together. Although absent this time around was the Perez Hilton looking girl who was with them at SXSW, not sure what happened to her. Anywho, I really enjoyed their set even though it could have been longer.

For those of you who may not be familiar with Yelle, she’s a singer who hails from France and like Lily Allen gained notoriety via myspace. In America we regard her as a cool electro import but as my nieces and nephews in France would tell you, no one over 14 listens to her, she’s “too cheesy” (ugh youth). She gained notoriety for her song “Short Dick Cuizi” later to be retitled “Je Veux te Voir” which incidentally uses the bass line from 20 Fingers’ “Short Dick Man.” Ok so let’s just stop and gay check: Electro + Bass line from “Short Dick Man” + French chick singer = yeah we’re hitting gay gold here.

Here’s my best translation of ‘Je Veux te Voir’ coming from this Mexican/French/Jewish/Irishman there’s still some shit that’s on another level in there:

Cook with your little penis covered by red hairs
I cannot believe you think someone may want you
I cannot even believe it in the dark, even if you keep your pajamas on
Even if you keep your bathrobe on, in the shape of a looser t-shirt
Keep your shirt bastard it’s safer
I wanna see you in a porno movie
Moving your dick around
Potato shapes or French fries
To know it all
About your anatomical shape
On top of your cousin teki(?)
And your fetish objects
Cuizi what is your favorite position?
Your Olympic performances
You have no orgasms
You are naked
Under your robe
Ready to fire it
But I have to tell you nothing is happening
You are dreaming of a fluorescent Hummer drawn by Akroe
But you don’t have a driver’s license, you always take the subway
You’re a superstar for a night, but you become normal the day after
No need for black glasses to hide yourself, no one will recognize you
Your green card is waiting for you boy
This is the real deal
I did it with my scanner
The door is free tonight
This is the only way for us to come
So girls are walking around
Yeaaah, we go to chipendales
We’re we are spending the night with loosers
We want to hang out with men with a 6 pack built like taurus
Your posters of Lil Jon covers those of Magic Johnson
Your body is too crunk to ensure the dunks
Cuiziner it’s you I want to see
Who I want to see tonight
You’ll get ridiculed by a girl who raps better than you
I don’t have enough fingers to count them in the room
All the girls like me know what you look like in the buff

If y’all are as confused as I am then good, you should be! The real reason I got into Yelle was because of this hot ass performance by Jey-Jey and his Wontek video for her song. Jey-Jey performs a French dance style known as tecktonik. Tecktonik appeared in France in 2000 in Paris in a nightclub called Metropolis. It borrows heavily from elements of glowsticking, and hip-hop dance moves including popping and locking, vogueing and wacking. Now Glen LOVES to remind me that Jey-Jey is actually straight but just look at this picture. HELLO, Tiger Beat wants its cover back betch!

Yelle came on and was KILLING it, as was her outfit, a would be nod to Melanie Griffiths in “Working Girl” I’m sure. Glen is calling it “Space Age,” but all us kids from the 80s know that putting shoulder pads in a yellow trench coat don’t make it space age it just makes it retro. She constantly played to the crowd with the purr of her French accent accentuating how much she loved New York. Now here’s the point in the article where I am going to dole out some concert etiquette. If you’re watching a band like The Death Set it’s a given that someone will be pushing at all times. If you’re watching Yelle it’s a given that people will be pushing while she’s performing BUT it is NOT ok to declare a two foot dance space for yourself in between songs. This is what confronted Glen when two boys started shouting, “Yo, what’s your problem. Yo, what’s your problem. Yo, what’s your problem.” Immediately upon hearing this I assumed they were from Jersey (sorry Sarah!) But alas, they were more New York via east coast prep than anything else (I’m sure they were whispering to each other “queers” and then ended the night getting smashed and getting into bed with each other only to wake up the next day and reassert to each other that they’re not gay, bitch please that’s so ‘94). In the midst of “Je Veux te Voir” my friend Katie was pushed by these dumb asses and she fell on her ankle wrong. Thus ending my night of Yelle. Sadly, I woke up to a cute girl with a cankle the size of a grapefruit. My luck was better at Dolly. But stay tuned, there’s more ‘treble’ to get into.

Tags: Heartsrevolution, Highline Ballroom, Yelle

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 14th, 2008 at 12:47 pm and is filed under Highline Ballroom, Live Shows. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.