I can’t fucking believe that I forgot to post Andrew Borin’s fucking incredible Dolly Parton review. He’s so funny, that I think he will have his own column in the coming weeks on this blog. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll continue reading for his review AND a video from the night! WARNING: he wrote this while drunk. I didn’t ask him to re-edit it because then you’ll get to feel as fucked up as he was:

The show was tits, i got knockered at the bar pretty quick but didn’t slow down emptying jugs of booze before the sound guy fired up the rack of gear and dolly hit the stage and rocked us so hard, i thought an airbag deployed to hand deliver us fun in bags.

Ok, had to get the obligatory hooter jokes out of the way. Here’s the full story. I met a boy on facebook about a month ago and we bonded over our love of Dolly Parton. So it only made sense that we make our first official meeting the Dolly concert (This sounds so gay I feel like I’m farting rainbows). It would appear that we had the perfect evening ahead of us, but everything that could go wrong, did. 530 rolls around and I was waiting for a text to find out what time we were supposed to meet up, no text. The only logical thing to do was to drown my woes in some margaritas at Chipotle on 14th street. Luckily, I ran into my friend Jenny who helped me further indulge my alcoholic stupor. At 6pm I was starting to get a little nervous, had I really been stood up? Finally, I received a call from Glen and he told me he was waiting at the restaurant where we had initially planned to meet. So I took my margarita to go and jumped on the subway. That bitch had me running in a 3 piece suit to meet him and let me tell you the only time I run is when I’m getting mugged. I finally made it to the restaurant where we proceeded to have humongous margaritas, they were even bigger than the lobsteritas I had for my b-day at Red Lobster (as you can see I’m all class).

After finishing up our drinks we made our way toward Radio City. Who knew that there would be a mile long line to get in? As we got inside Dolly was just about to go on giving us enough time to grab some champs for the show. Dolly was AMAZING! She’s everything you could want in a performer, she’s funny and has the most appealing voice it just draws you in. I got super excited when she started to sing Jolene, I mean come on, it’s a classic. PS I think the only straight people at the show were over 60 years old. Dolly played for about an hour and I’m not really sure how I even made it home with Glen in tow. Although I do remember talking to my mom at some point during the performance, I’m sure the people around us loved our drunk asses.

Anyways, Glen and I are going to see Yelle on Saturday so I’ve decided that I should give my posts on Almack’s a title. Here are some of the options and I’ll let you decide:

Glen and Andrew get into treble (my fav) or Nuthin’ but Treble (an ode to one of my favorite films)

My other show’s a hummer

Out @ a show

Automatic soundtrack

Better chemistry through living

Getting to know you over a subwoofer

Dirty Dancing

Some of my favorite Dolly quotes:

“You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap! ”

“My weaknesses have always been food and men - in that order.”

“It’s a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I’d be a drag queen.”

Posted is a short clip of Dolly singing ‘Jolene.’ There would be more but after three songs and 8 glasses of champagne we weren’t able to keep the camera steady.

Tags: andrew borin, dolly parton, Radio City Music Hall, super fucking gay

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 15th, 2008 at 9:42 pm and is filed under Radio City Music Hall. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.